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Autonomy is a universal concept, but one which in French parenting is emphasized. One of the goals of parenting is to raise a child who is capable of taking care of themselves, who is confident and self-assured, and who has “a kind of inner resilience and self-reliance” (246). French parents instill autonomy in several ways, including letting children spend time away with extended family or on school trips, and leaving them to safely play on their own. French parents speak to their children as though they are people, which implies that they see them as having the potential to be fully functioning, rational humans. Parents give children only as much autonomy as they can handle.
Creating a boundary frame means giving kids firm limits that parents strictly enforce while allowing kids within those limits to have a lot of freedom. Children are given rules and expectations and should follow them, but they have a great deal of autonomy and choice within those rules. Parents largely enforce this framework through verbal reasoning, reminders, and explanations. Rules of the cadre must have a logical purpose; the goal is to be able to say “yes” as much as possible. Children benefit from this approach because structure is comforting and reassuring, while freedom develops their personalities and confidence.
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